Annal 24: Tale from Van Helsing's Crossbow

I am probably the closest you will ever come to meeting a vampire.

There, I admitted it.

No, I don't drink blood.  I'm not a huge garlic fan, but it definitely doesn't hurt me.  I quite like crosses, and while I have never come into contact with holy water, I'm pretty sure I won't sizzle when splashed by it.  No one has ever tried to stab me with a wooden stake, though I'm sure that it would kill me were it driven through my heart.  But the sun... well... that's another story.

As I write this I'm fighting the urge to scratch my ears.  You see about three years ago I developed a mild sun allergy.  It doesn't last all summer, just for May and June, while my skin adjusts to the sun's heat again.  My skin bubbles.  I believe the correct term would be "breaking out in hives" but bubbling skin sounds a little more Dracula-esque, don't you think?  And so I am currently exercising all my self-control to not scratch those glorious little bumps that have appeared on my ear lobes.

See, when most people think vampires, especially in today's culture, they think glamorous and sexy.  They think Edward Cullen glittering in the sun, or Kate Beckinsale in black leather.  The closest I can come to that is red, bumpy skin that itches.

Attractive, isn't it?

Every once in a while I like to envision myself gloriously shaking my hair loose in the summer sun, skin glowing with a golden hue.  Instead I look in the mirror and see red skin...  that bubbles.

My only hope?  That Hugh Jackman as Van Helsing will catch wind of this "North American Vampire" and come hunt me down.

Such is the life of a Christian single.

Annal 23: Tale from my Heart

This entry is going to be a bit of a movement from my typical ones, but I assure anyone who reads this that my next blog will be full of my shallow rants.  This is just what is on my heart right now and I need a way to voice it.

Everything that Jesus said and did during His stint on earth had to do with following what He said were the two greatest commandments.  Loving God and loving others.  He said that all the prophets and laws were summed up in those two things.  Sounds easy enough, but if one were to look at Christians today I think we would have to say it doesn’t appear to be all that easy.  Especially that loving others part.

What does love mean? Paul seems to sum it up nicely in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. “Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.  But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.”  These verses are quoted so regularly that we tend to overlook what they mean.

Right before what is infamously known as the “Love chapter” Paul is talking to Corinthians about unity and diversity in the body.  He mentions that we are not made up of one part but of many (12:14).  How many people can honestly say they love all the people around them who are so different from them?  If God had intended for us to be carbon copies of each other I’m fairly certain He would have created us that way.  But He didn’t.  He created each of us unique because each of us has a different purpose.  Some might be the hands, while others might be the liver.  God calls us to have equal concern for each other, to mourn with each other, and to rejoice with each other.  How often do we do that?

Sometimes Christians are the most cutthroat group of them all.  If someone disagrees with us we find ways to make them seem “less spiritual.”  We make them feel uncomfortable in our small group.  We gossip about them.  We do little discreet things that no one catches; the sort of things never mentioned from the pulpit because it’s easier to mention things like drunkenness, or drugs, or tatooes (yes, I once heard a description of a ‘sinner’ as being a tattooed person.  As my brother has tatooes and it doesn’t seem to interfere with his relationship with God, I’m going to assume that God is not sending him to hell for them), because those are the sins we can nail.  But those aren’t the things that divide the Church.  It’s the lies, the bitterness, the unresolved hurt, and the offenses we refuse to deal with that cause the division.  Loving each other requires us to be patient, to not keep a record of the wrongs done to us, to not seek our own glory and kingdom but God’s.

Ironically, I began writing this thinking of the ways that I have been hurt by Christians recently.  Thinking of how THEY didn’t show love.  How THEY didn’t meet the criteria in 1 Corinthians 13.  And as I’m writing it God is nudging me and say, “Are YOU meeting that criteria?  Are YOU making sure YOU don’t keep a record of wrongs done against YOU?”

What does love look like?

Annal 22: Tale from a Vintage Photo

Today my class when to a heritage village for a field trip.  It was a fantastic (albeit long) day, and they all seemed to enjoy it.  My students were given a tour of the village and were also able to sit through a 1930s-style lesson.  It was fantastic.  My highlight was when they were told that in many cases teachers would board with the families of their students.  I asked the students what they thought of that idea.  Here are their initial responses:

Student 1: "I would  put itching powder in your underwear."
Student 2: "I would booby-trap your bedroom."
Student 3: "That would be creepy... you would wear slippers."

Once upon a time I may have taken remarks like that to heart.  Pathetic, I know, but I have always been a mildly sensitive person and words have always been important to me.  Teaching has been good for me though.  It has taught me that for each of these remarks students will also say something like, "Ms. S, I think that would be the coolest thing in the world."  I have students who think the best way to spend a night would be reading with me... or having me read The Iliad to them.

To top off our field trip we got a class picture--vintage style.  All of my students were dressed up in old-fashioned clothing.  My girls were in dresses, hats, and gloves, and were sporting either fans, handcuffs, or shotguns.  My boys had bandanas, dusters, cowboy hats, boots, and also shotguns.  Then you had me in my magenta gown, hoop skirt underneath to increase the "poofiness" of the dress.  The first response I got when I stepped out of the changeroom?

"Ms. S, you look bad."

Not so long ago this kind of a response would have choked me up.  But I ignored it, because for this one comment there were about three others telling me I looked good.

The point of this story?  For as long as I can remember I have struggled with my self-esteem.  I had people tell me that I couldn't base my value on what others thought of me, but that never changed how I felt.  I could be told God loved me but that always seemed to be dimmed by my insecurities.  I think God has been teaching me this lesson all year but I didn't realize it until I sat down to start typing an account of today's events.  As a teacher you hear all sorts of things.  In the course of a day I can be told I'm cool, that I "rock," that I'm hated, and that I'm bad.  It could do a number on your self-esteem.  And sometimes it does.  But then I look at the bigger picture.  The wall behind my desk is plastered with 62 (one of my students counted them) pictures that my kids have made for me throughout the school year.  For every sarcastic comment about me I usually either hear from students, or receive notes from them on their assignments, telling me how much they appreciate me. 

My students know what I'm like.  Depending on their moods, or mine, their comments might vary.  But throughout the year they have proved to me what they really think of me, and it is that which shines through.  That's what I cling to.

God knows me.  And He loves me the way I am.  People change.  One day they might love me and the next day they might hate me.  He doesn't.  In the same way that I can't base my self-esteem on my students ever-changing comments, I can't place my value in the ever-changing views of humanity.  God's view is what truly matters.

Such is the life of a Christian single.

Annal 21: Tale from a Non-Church-Hopper

I once read a book where a group of singles actually plotted out when the services of every church in their community (and the surrounding communities) started, and would manage to attend up to three services a day.  I would love to say they did this because they simply could not get enough of learning about God.  But they didn't.  They did it so they could rate each church according to its population of singles. 

At the time, this made me laugh and shake my head.  Now I actually begin to comtemplate it.

I know people in surrounding communities who constantly suggest that I and my single friend come and check out their churches.  Of course, by "checking out their churches" what they really mean is "come check out the singles at our church--we'd love to hook you up."  After reading this novel as a teenager, my first thought was actually how much fun that would be.  But then I had a realization.

Just because someone goes to church does not mean that they are what I am looking for.  I had that realization this fall.  I had changed churches because I felt that God was calling me in another direction.  Ironically enough, as soon as I left the church they had an influx of single men start attending.  My first thought was "Should  I go back?" but I realized I couldn't.  Just because a man is single and goes to church does not mean that he is the man I am looking for.  Call me picky, but I prefer to say I'm not desperate.  When it comes to faith, I want a man who is willing to think deeply and not just accept what is said from the pulpit because it is said from the pulpit.  I want a man who is discerning.  My father constantly tells me that I'm better off being single and waiting for the right guy, than rushing into a relationship simply because I don't want to be single.  I suppose I'm beginning to agree with him.

Will I stop visiting other churches?  No.  Heck, I may even enjoy going to them, trying them out, and yes, seeing if they have an single men.  But will I jump into anything simply because that guy goes to a church?  No.

Such is the life of a Christian single.

Annal 20: Tale from the Pacifier

Sometimes when I envision myself I see not what I look like, but more of a feminine version of Vin Diesel in his role in The Pacifier.  I feed kids, bath kids, and get tackled by kids.  And when the kidlets are tucked into bed I blow on my fingers as if I'm blowing on guns.  There's a reason why I tell my students I'm a super hero.

One thing babysitting is good for is making you forget that some of the reasons you are single are as dorky as they are.  Suddenly, being able to contort my face is cool and causes children of all ages to emit giggles.  Singing Christmas carols in the summer?  The coolest thing ever!  Being able to sing "Down by the Bay" with the kids?  Yeah, I'm pretty much an American Idol contestant.  The fact that I spend evenings playing video games?  Kids actually admire that kind of an ability.

So while typically I am reminded constantly of my single status, spending the last few days doing some overnight babysitting has worked wonders for my self-esteem.  Especially when, while cutting pancakes, two little voices tell me, "You look so pretty today."

Such is the life of a Christian single.