Annal 13: Tale from the BBC

Yesterday was a beautiful day.  The sun shone, I was able to drink coffee and do my devotions on the front porch before church, and it was a service where I left feeling as if I had been recharged.  What made the day even better, was spending the afternoon watching North and South for the second time.  John Thornton (played by Richard Armitage) still made me breathless and caused my heart to palpitate.

I go through phases.  For the most part, I’m okay with being single.  God has me in this place right now for a reason, and I intend to do everything I can to fulfill His purpose for me at this point.  At other times, it gets really hard.  Sadly, my addiction to BBC dramas does not help with this much.

Do I expect Richard Armitage, dressed as Thornton, to walk through the door, look at me, and profess his undying love for me?  No, I am not COMPLETELY unrealistic.  But what gets to me is the way that he looks at Margaret in the final scene of the movie.  I know that movies are not what you base your idea of romance and love on, but in the final scene Thornton looks at Margaret as if she is the only person who exists.  He is completely unaware of anything or anyone else.

I sometimes have to ask, “God, will anyone ever look at me that way?”

I know His timing is perfect, I know He has a plan; I’m really good at giving myself the lecture I gave to all my other friends back when they were still single.

But still I wonder.

And so I am left with four options:

Option One—Abandon the BBC

·         If literature and its dramatic representations only serve to remind me of what I am missing, perhaps I should go cold turkey.

Option Two—Join the BBC

·         Don’t they need a token Canadian actor who attempts to feign a British accent?

Option Three—Move to England

·         I have a five year plan in mind

o   Finish of my degree

o   Work up north for a couple of years to pay off student loans and put some money into savings

o   Move to England where I am at least surrounded by men who SOUND like Thornton and my other BBC heroes (thanks to my sister-in-law for this suggestion)

Option Four—Wait

·         Continue praying for myself and others and simply follow Him where He leads.  After all, His timing is perfect despite being different from my own.

Such is the life of a Christian single.

Annal 9: Tale from the Bachelor Pad

As we obviously have no life, or at least as I have no life, my single friend and I decided to do a bit of a road trip last night.  Not that we don't enjoy living in a Christian manless society where we spend our evenings marking assignments or watching BBC dramas, but it sure was a pleasant change to go visiting.  The best part?  We were actually going to be in an environment where single, Christian males exist.  This was particularly exciting given my day at school yesterday.  I had a playground conversation with a grade five student that went something like this:

Student: "Ms. S, do you have any cats?"
Me: "No, I don't."
Student: "Oh good!  Now you need to get married or at least find a boyfriend."
Me: "Uh, why?"
Student: "Because if you don't you'll start collecting cats and become the crazy cat lady!"

Real gem, eh?

So my friend and I headed off and after an exciting trip to Costco (I bought trail mix and a collection of BBC dramas) we were to visit some of these friends.

I climbed upstairs to the apartment and can't help but let out a slight chuckle.  The living room was divided so that about two-thirds of it contained musical instruments and equipment, while the other one-third was made up of one couch and about fifteen folding chairs that were borrowed from the church.  There was no table, but boxes abounded.  All in all it was very cozy, but a definite bachelor pad.

So while our group was comprised of myself and my friend, one of her female friends, and two single guys (one who is about to enter into a relationship and one who is not looking for one), it was an incredibly enjoyable experience.  Sometimes you have to get away from what is normal and throw yourself into different circumstances.  I had never met any of these people before this past weekend, yet I found myself refreshed by the company.  It is possible for singles to visit in a setting that does not involve prospects of pairing off and where no one is judging you because you are single.  So here's to dinner at the bachelor pad of uninterested men!

Such is the life of a Christian single.

Annal 3: Tales from the Living Room Couch

My heart began to race and my breath caught in my throat.  I could feel the heat rising to my face, yet all I could do was stare into the most intense pair of blue-grey eyes I had ever seen.  Every glance sent my heart beating faster and faster. 

My married friend leaned over and patted my leg, whispering, “I know, I know.” 

The scene then flipped to a view of the female lead and I could feel myself begin to relax.  My breathing returned to normal, my face resumed its regular temperature, and my heart steadied.  I sighed.  I recall looking at my friend and saying, “They just don’t make them like that anymore.”

I have an addiction.  Some may call it a problem, but I am not ready to admit that.  I love BBC period movies.  I can sit for hours (and believe me, I do, as I proved by my four hour marathon last night), and watch the characters from Austen, Bronte, Dickens, and Gaskell come to life on the screen before me.  Perhaps more appropriately, I can sit for hours and watch the heroes of these novels come to life.  Who would have thought that Rochester calling Jane Eyre a witch could be so romantic?  Or Knightley’s nervous gestures as he proposed to Emma so enduring?  As last night proved to me, even intense stares from Thornton in North and South send me diving head-first into the sea of raging hormones I thought I had long ago passed.

The sad part is that I cannot remember the last time a real man (it takes a fair bit for me to admit that these heroes are fictional) stirred up a similar response in me.  It’s not that I expect John Thornton to walk into my church on a Sunday morning and whisk me off my feet.  I’m not even expecting men to fit the bill of a Rochester or Knightley.  I am aware of a line drawn between fiction and nonfiction.  But what does it mean that a Christian woman cannot seem to find a Christian man who can stir even the slightest of emotions up within her?  Will single, Christian women be forced to turn to BBC for the rest of their lives?

Such is the life of a Christian single.