Yesterday was a beautiful day. The sun shone, I was able to drink coffee and do my devotions on the front porch before church, and it was a service where I left feeling as if I had been recharged. What made the day even better, was spending the afternoon watching North and South for the second time. John Thornton (played by Richard Armitage) still made me breathless and caused my heart to palpitate.
I go through phases. For the most part, I’m okay with being single. God has me in this place right now for a reason, and I intend to do everything I can to fulfill His purpose for me at this point. At other times, it gets really hard. Sadly, my addiction to BBC dramas does not help with this much.
Do I expect Richard Armitage, dressed as Thornton, to walk through the door, look at me, and profess his undying love for me? No, I am not COMPLETELY unrealistic. But what gets to me is the way that he looks at Margaret in the final scene of the movie. I know that movies are not what you base your idea of romance and love on, but in the final scene Thornton looks at Margaret as if she is the only person who exists. He is completely unaware of anything or anyone else.
I sometimes have to ask, “God, will anyone ever look at me that way?”
I know His timing is perfect, I know He has a plan; I’m really good at giving myself the lecture I gave to all my other friends back when they were still single.
But still I wonder.
And so I am left with four options:
Option One—Abandon the BBC
· If literature and its dramatic representations only serve to remind me of what I am missing, perhaps I should go cold turkey.
Option Two—Join the BBC
· Don’t they need a token Canadian actor who attempts to feign a British accent?
Option Three—Move to England
· I have a five year plan in mind
o Finish of my degree
o Work up north for a couple of years to pay off student loans and put some money into savings
o Move to England where I am at least surrounded by men who SOUND like Thornton and my other BBC heroes (thanks to my sister-in-law for this suggestion)
Option Four—Wait
· Continue praying for myself and others and simply follow Him where He leads. After all, His timing is perfect despite being different from my own.
Such is the life of a Christian single.
