Annal 14: Tale from a Distance

There’s an interesting fact that becomes apparent when you are single and most of your friends are not: everyone has decided that it is their job to make you “unsingle.”  If I had a dollar for every time I had a friend say, “I know a guy...” I would seriously never have to work another day in my life.  Of course, my friends only seem to “know guys” who live a fair distance away from where I am currently situated.

Situation One: I have actually met one of the men one friend suggests.  However, he lives several hours away in the neighbouring province and rarely comes to visit.  It’s all swell that he would love to settle down with a “nice, Christian girl” but alas, we have not met in over ten years.

Situation Two: Another friend tells me about an awesome guy she knows and how she thinks we could do well together.  Like situation one, situation two lives a far distance away and does not seem to be planning a trip in this direction any time soon.

Situation Three: The principal at my school actually grew up on a Mennonite colony.  She found out that some men from there were coming to town and had wanted to meet some “nice, Christian girls.”  My phone number was given out, but I was out of town when they came to visit.  My phone has never rung with a call from the colony.  So much for strapping men with a good work ethic.

Situation Four: My dad’s boss found out he has a single daughter close in age to her single son.  He does not live nearby and is not a Christian, so alas, another lost cause.

Situation Five: A woman I met once and talked to for about one hour thinks I’m a “nice, Christian girl” and would do very well with her son.  Apparently I give off good vibes through the course of a one hour visit.

While I greatly appreciate the thought and care my friends give to my relationship status, and the fact that I apparently do not need to look for a guy for myself as everyone else has it under control, just once it might be nice to meet one of these guys, as opposed to be told about their attributes and qualities and having to admire from a great distance.

Such is the life of a Christian single.

Annal 13: Tale from the BBC

Yesterday was a beautiful day.  The sun shone, I was able to drink coffee and do my devotions on the front porch before church, and it was a service where I left feeling as if I had been recharged.  What made the day even better, was spending the afternoon watching North and South for the second time.  John Thornton (played by Richard Armitage) still made me breathless and caused my heart to palpitate.

I go through phases.  For the most part, I’m okay with being single.  God has me in this place right now for a reason, and I intend to do everything I can to fulfill His purpose for me at this point.  At other times, it gets really hard.  Sadly, my addiction to BBC dramas does not help with this much.

Do I expect Richard Armitage, dressed as Thornton, to walk through the door, look at me, and profess his undying love for me?  No, I am not COMPLETELY unrealistic.  But what gets to me is the way that he looks at Margaret in the final scene of the movie.  I know that movies are not what you base your idea of romance and love on, but in the final scene Thornton looks at Margaret as if she is the only person who exists.  He is completely unaware of anything or anyone else.

I sometimes have to ask, “God, will anyone ever look at me that way?”

I know His timing is perfect, I know He has a plan; I’m really good at giving myself the lecture I gave to all my other friends back when they were still single.

But still I wonder.

And so I am left with four options:

Option One—Abandon the BBC

·         If literature and its dramatic representations only serve to remind me of what I am missing, perhaps I should go cold turkey.

Option Two—Join the BBC

·         Don’t they need a token Canadian actor who attempts to feign a British accent?

Option Three—Move to England

·         I have a five year plan in mind

o   Finish of my degree

o   Work up north for a couple of years to pay off student loans and put some money into savings

o   Move to England where I am at least surrounded by men who SOUND like Thornton and my other BBC heroes (thanks to my sister-in-law for this suggestion)

Option Four—Wait

·         Continue praying for myself and others and simply follow Him where He leads.  After all, His timing is perfect despite being different from my own.

Such is the life of a Christian single.

Annal 12: Tale from an Overactive Imagination

I was creeping through the bush, my eyes darting in every direction, checking to see if I was being followed.  I heard nothing, but that did not mean they would not appear soon.  I began talking to myself, as I always did in such circumstances, my British accent rolling off my tongue in a truly romantic manner.  I could see light ahead of me and I knew I would soon be leaving the cover of the bush.  Before I knew it I was in the open, a street in front of me, the occasional car passing by, a cold, NWT wind whipping against my parka. 

I was about eight or nine and this was my lunchtime and afterschool routine.  I would walk to and from school, through some bushes, pretending I was a British orphan on the run from a cruel orphanage.

Yeah, cool, I know.

This soon evolved into more "awesome" imaginings.

At other times I was a servant working in the kitchens of a grand castle in some unknown land.  I was always brilliant, adventurous, and incredibly mysterious.  This usually took place on evenings when I was doing dishes and they were particularly messy.

My aunt once had my cousin and me polish my mother's silver.  We decided to pretend we were members of Henry VIII's court, eating and drinking and attempting to belch.

I would love to say that with each passing  year I grow in maturity and am able to put childish things behind me.  But that would be a lie.

I still clean the bathroom, my bedroom, or the dishes with some great plot running through my mind.  Guaranteed, almost anytime I am seen staring off into space it is because I have some sort of story that is playing before my eyes.

I would love to say this tendency is a part of my charm, but I am afraid it really just points to a fact I have come to realize: I am a geek.

It will take one very special man to see my geekiness as charming and loveable, but perhaps that is why God is taking a little longer finding a man for me than he has for my friends.  And if that's what it takes, I'm okay with that.

Such is the life of a Christian single.

Annal 11: Tale from the Date

It’s Friday night and I have a date.

I’m trying to still my pounding heart and calm my rapid breathing.

This is all pretty exciting to me and it doesn’t happen very often.

Truth be told, I had to initiate everything with regards to this.

I had to look at him, curly, dark hair falling into his chocolate brown eyes, and say, “What should we do for dinner this Friday?”

His response?

“’Donalds!” That would be McDonalds.

This morning I asked him if we should watch a movie tonight.  He became very excited and suggested we watch Tinkerbell.

My date is four.

He is like a nephew to me, and I am taking care of him for a couple of days while my parents are out of town.  He is a crazy four year old, but I love him to pieces and he is one of the cutest kids I know.  He and I also tend to go to McDonalds for dates on a relatively frequent basis.  If I’m lucky, other friends of mine who have kids the same age as this little guy will show up and then we can do “family dates.”

I sometimes laugh when I realize that my idea of a date is going out for fast food with a boy not yet in elementary school, but I also think I’m lucky.  I’m constantly surrounded by children, and as much as they say things that make me laugh, they are also sweethearts.  The other day I went to pick up my boy after I got off from work and while I was putting his coat on he just wrapped his arms around me and gave me a huge hug.  While I was doing my devotions this morning, he came up and asked if he could cuddle with me.  The same goes with my students.  Sure they like to remind me that I’m single, but they also say things like “Ms. S, you’re the best teacher in the whole wide world.”  Or they tell me how much they will miss me when I go back to school in the fall.

I may be single, but God has a way of letting me know that I am loved and that He hasn’t forgotten about me.  And usually it is at the hands of one of little guys!

Of course, as I am pondering this, my students are eating lunch at telling me that the reason I don’t remember my shepherd boyfriend is because of my short term memory problem.  Gems, aren’t they?

Such is the life of a Christian single.

Annal 10: Tale from the Weddings

I have a dream. 

My dream is that one day James Marsden will realize I am the woman for him and marry me.

Okay, that may not be it exactly, but it’s close.

I’ve been involved in a lot of weddings.  Seven to be exact.  I have been a flowergirl once, a bridesmaid three times, and a maid-of-honour three times.  So I’m kind of holding out for a Twenty-Seven Dresses theme where after another twenty weddings an attractive reporter will write an article about me and then whisk me off my feet and marry me.  Seven down, twenty to go.

Do I regret this?

Not at all!  I feel so honoured to have been a part of so many friends’ special day.  I’m floored that so many people have included me, and so I definitely see the value in these positions I have held.

Here’s the thing though: I’m still single.

Not only am I still single, but I also only ever get partnered with groomsmen who are either several years younger than me or else married.  So much for my prospects!

All humour aside though, sometimes wedding are rough for me.  While I’m ecstatic for my friends, I sometimes sit back and wonder: “God, what about me?  Have you forgotten me?  When will it be my turn?”

Something interesting happened though.  I have a friend (shocking, I know) who is also single (wow... even more shocking) and we have been not just praying about the men we will marry, but praying for each other’s future husbands.  The result: our friendship seems even stronger.

I was reading another blog, “Christianity in High Heels,” and the author encouraged single women to start praying for each other and for the men we will all one day marry.  I would like to pass this challenge on.  If you are single, pray not just for yourself, but for other single friends.  If you are married, pray for your single friends.  Pray for your married friends, that their marriages would not just be the stuff of legends, but would glorify God.  Pray.

Such is the life of a Christian single.