Pretty sure this is the summation of my life right now.
Tonight is my last night before heading out to school. I'm excited, nervous, scared... the whole shebang. Part of me almost feels like I have slipped into student mode given my apparel at the moment (it is pretty obvious I'm not having a Skype date with Charming tonight). I am bathed but haven't bothered with make-up. All of my clothes except for a few outfits that are in the laundry are packed so I'm wearing jeans and a t-shirt (both of which are too big for me). I'm sitting at my computer, bare feet propped up, a plate with pizza pops beside me.
And I'm doing everything in my power to not cry.
Today was my final shift as an electrician. As my blog can attest to, I loved my job and the people I worked with. Today I worked with the first year apprentice and my foreman, the same two guys I started with. My morning began with my longest work run yet (we ran 8km at an average speed of about 11km/hr... I was pretty impressed with myself) and then I got to spend my day in the company of two guys who managed to make me feel like I belonged. Like who I was was an okay person to be. They even seemed to like me a little (my foreman told the big boss that they should hire me back next spring when I have a five week break in between semesters).
Okay, I am still managing to not cry.
I had to say good bye to my brother and sister-in-law as well today and my youngest sister came with me to run some final errands and pack the last of my belongings. The children for which I am "The Babyhitter" stopped by with their mom (and my dear friend), to say good bye tonight as well. They also gave me an Avengers lunch container (somehow school will go so much better with Captain America and Thor to gaze at) and a gift card for Starbucks (I can still drink good coffee while being a poor student)!
Tomorrow I begin the next leg of my journey. And this part of the journey is completely unknown to me. I have never lived where I am moving and have never attended this university. After this year I am done school and begin a totally different adventure.
But this coming adventure scares me. It is a great deal different than anything I am used to. While I will be near some people I hold incredibly close, I will be away from others. And that is hard. I know it will be good, and I really am excited for it. Tonight I am just going through another period of grieving as I leave behind that which I know for that which I don't.
In other words, tonight is the kind of night where all I want to do is curl up on the couch, shed a few tears, drink something hot, and be held.
Which reminds of a similar time not that long ago when I was leaving to come back for the summer. I recall a night much like this one. A night where my Father let me know He was present... that He was near... that He wasn't going anywhere despite the changes occurring in my life.
And I know that is true for me now.
So I will cling to the hope and excitement of this new adventure. Of road tripping my way to the West Coast on my own (I will try to take lots of pictures and hopefully share some with the rest of you).
Here's to know that God will continue to guide and lead. Here's to what has been an amazing summer full of surprises I never expected. Here's to what I know will be a glorious new adventure full of new twists, turns, and lessons.
This is my story.