Huh... a year ago today I started this blog. On the one hand it doesn't feel like a year has passed, while on the other hand so much has happened in that time that I can't believe it has only been one year. For a brief moment I entertained ending the blog or trying something different.
But that moment didn't last very long :) I figure I'm still a Christian, I'm still single, and I still enjoy writing, so why should I stop?
The last week or so has been spent looking back on all that has happened. I was thinking about the frame of my mind I was in when I first started writing. I was angry and frustrated with being treated as if I belonged to some sort of category of subhuman by other people (especially Christians) because I was going to school, single, and apparently older than the proper marriageable age. I was tired of people not wanting to be around me because I didn't have a significant other.
There were other reasons I wanted to write as well. I had lived through enough humorous encounters and believed that by sharing such experiences maybe others would be able to relate... and probably not feel so bad about themselves! Like my youngest sister telling me I can still adopt (I hadn't realized by child-bearing years were over) or sitting down to family dinners and realizing that I am the only single person (nephews and niece being exempt).
This blog has turned out nothing like I envisioned it would in the beginning.
It has become a place for me to share, to laugh, to cry, and to rant. It has allowed me to work through issues of forgiveness, bitterness, hurt, and insecurity. It has allowed me to laugh at times when I might not have laughed. I have been able to share revelations God has given me through the Bible, nature, other people, and just through life.
This week I have been reading through the book of Esther for my devotions and it brought to mind a sermon I heard on it back in September or October. I wish I could remember the exact number, but apparently the Hebrew word that refers to "sovereignty" appears in Esther more than enough times to be in each verse once (in many verses twice). It also happens to be the one book of the Bible where God is never mentioned. In this sermon the pastor talked about how God proved Himself in control, sovereign, even in His seeming absence from the story. He left His fingerprint in the very words of the text.
I look back at life, and especially at this last year, and I think of the times it seemed as though God was not present. The times where I felt alone and rejected by Him. The times when it seemed like He had disappeared in the midst of life's craziness. Hind sight being 20/20 I realize now that He never left. He still proved Himself to be in control.
He was still sovereign.
He is still sovereign.
I have no idea what this coming year is going to hold for me. I know I will be going to school, but that is about all I know. I know that a year from now I will be starting to apply for jobs... and that scares the heck out of me!
But I also know that God will continue to be in control. Whether I feel like I can see Him or not, He will still leave His mark. Just like He did in Esther.
Such is the life of a Christian single.
But that moment didn't last very long :) I figure I'm still a Christian, I'm still single, and I still enjoy writing, so why should I stop?
The last week or so has been spent looking back on all that has happened. I was thinking about the frame of my mind I was in when I first started writing. I was angry and frustrated with being treated as if I belonged to some sort of category of subhuman by other people (especially Christians) because I was going to school, single, and apparently older than the proper marriageable age. I was tired of people not wanting to be around me because I didn't have a significant other.
There were other reasons I wanted to write as well. I had lived through enough humorous encounters and believed that by sharing such experiences maybe others would be able to relate... and probably not feel so bad about themselves! Like my youngest sister telling me I can still adopt (I hadn't realized by child-bearing years were over) or sitting down to family dinners and realizing that I am the only single person (nephews and niece being exempt).
This blog has turned out nothing like I envisioned it would in the beginning.
It has become a place for me to share, to laugh, to cry, and to rant. It has allowed me to work through issues of forgiveness, bitterness, hurt, and insecurity. It has allowed me to laugh at times when I might not have laughed. I have been able to share revelations God has given me through the Bible, nature, other people, and just through life.
This week I have been reading through the book of Esther for my devotions and it brought to mind a sermon I heard on it back in September or October. I wish I could remember the exact number, but apparently the Hebrew word that refers to "sovereignty" appears in Esther more than enough times to be in each verse once (in many verses twice). It also happens to be the one book of the Bible where God is never mentioned. In this sermon the pastor talked about how God proved Himself in control, sovereign, even in His seeming absence from the story. He left His fingerprint in the very words of the text.
I look back at life, and especially at this last year, and I think of the times it seemed as though God was not present. The times where I felt alone and rejected by Him. The times when it seemed like He had disappeared in the midst of life's craziness. Hind sight being 20/20 I realize now that He never left. He still proved Himself to be in control.
He was still sovereign.
He is still sovereign.
I have no idea what this coming year is going to hold for me. I know I will be going to school, but that is about all I know. I know that a year from now I will be starting to apply for jobs... and that scares the heck out of me!
But I also know that God will continue to be in control. Whether I feel like I can see Him or not, He will still leave His mark. Just like He did in Esther.
Such is the life of a Christian single.
Brilliant! Congrats on your one year anniversary :)) A real accomplishment. I never knew how much work it took to keep consistent with one, until I had my own. So I can say major props to you, girl! :)) BTW, would love to put a thumbnail of your blog on my own, email me! jeanine7799@yahoo.com
ReplyDeleteJeanine