This week has felt like a mish-mash of occurrences that lend themselves to either reasons why I am single, or funny stories about being single. My memories are all a blur so I shall simply record them as they come to me.
First of all, I went to pick my cousin up from the airport on Saturday and on the way home took pictures with the gigantic beaver.
Did I mention that I have named this beaver? His name is Maher-shalal-hash-baz... but I call him Murray for short. Yeah... sort of screams cool, doesn't it?
A few nights ago I was at a movie night. What happens when you get two pregnant women, two women with older children, and two single women in a room watching Persuasion? A discussion on torn petticoats, perfect kisses, and the view Christians sometimes have that if you are not married and don't have children by the age 27 then you are doomed (this may have arisen from the fact that the other single woman turns 27 in two months time). I also recall being kicked as the other women started on North and South and one pregnant friend stated, "You missed Thornton's stare!"
On top of my hopeless romantic gift for my birthday, I also received nerdy gifts, like a Star Wars poster and Final Fantasy VII for the Playstation. I was also given a book entitled Real Sex which is supposed to be a Christian relationship book that is actually good (hmmm... somebody hinting at something?).
On a slightly more serious note, I also received a collection by C.S. Lewis for my birthday and just finished A Grief Observed which he wrote following the death of his wife. Here is an excerpt from chapter three:
You can't see anything properly while your eyes are blurred with tears. you can't, in most things, get what you want if you want it too desperately: anyway, you can't get the best out of it.
The time when there is nothing at all in your soul except a cry for help may be just the time when God can't give it: you are like the drowning man who can't be helped because he clutches and grabs. Perhaps your own reiterated cries deafen you to the voice you hoped to hear.
On the other hand, "Knock and it shall be opened." But does knocking mean hammering and kicking the door like a maniac? And there's also "To him that hath shall be given." After all, you must have a capacity to receive, or even omnipotence can't give. Perhaps your own passion temporarily destroys the capacity.
This caused me to wonder how this could pertain to singleness. I wonder if singles are sometimes so filled up with the idea of 'getting someone' or, on the opposite hand, of being single, that they have no capacity to receive when God wishes to give. Not just in the idea of God giving them a spouse. But is a single person who wants so desperately to be married leaving any room in their life for God to give them peace while they wait?
So, these are just some random thoughts and musings from the last week. If they do not make sense, that is okay--my brain is feeling somewhat mushy right now from late nights and early awakenings (our roof is being done... nothing like hammering above your window in the morning to shock you out of bed!).
Such is the life of a Christian single.
I would love to have been in that room watching Persuasion with you. Alas, my friends aren't fond of period drama.
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