Friday 6 January 2012

Annal 110: Tale from Grace

I was told the most wonderful piece of news yesterday, and while most of you will laugh there will be some out there who will understand the excitement.  Ready for it?

I was told I was hot.

Like I said, might not seem like much to most people but my self-esteem has taken quite a boost and it is a boost that will probably last me for a very long time!

Alright, back to why I am writing today's post although it is not entirely unrelated to the above :)

I just finished a chapter in Keller's book and what I read today made me want to cry.  Since I am not married I have been taking some of what I have been learning and have been trying to think of how to apply it to other relationships.  Yesterday I read about the kinds of power love has in marriage and Keller talked about "love currencies" or "love languages."  At the start of last semester my sister and I had actually been discussing this and I discovered that her love language is the complete opposite of what I thought it was.  So I have been trying to show her I love her according to what speaks to her.  She, in turn, has done the same with me.  Words are incredibly important to me (which is why being told I am "hot" meant so much) and so she goes out of her way to tell me if something I cook tastes good, or if an outfit looks particularly good on me or to just let me know she appreciates me.

Today I read about the power of grace in marriage.  I want to share with you a paragraph.

"Here is why you can say to your spouse who has wronged you, 'I see your sin, but I can cover it with forgiveness, because Jesus saw my sin and covered it.'  It is because the Lord of the universe came into the world in disguise, in the person of Jesus Christ, and he looked into our hearts and saw the worst.  And it wasn't an abstract exercise for Jesus--our sins put him to death.  When Jesus was up there, nailed to the cross, he looked down and saw us, some denying him, some betraying him, and all forsaking him.  He saw our sin and covered it."

In case you haven't noticed, any time I think of forgiveness I think of my old church back home.  Just before Christmas God challenged me to start praying for the leadership and I didn't want to.  So He placed it in the perspective of His glory.  Would the church failing and falling apart because I want justice glorify God?  Or would a church growing in wisdom and discernment bring glory to Him?  I found I could pray for Him to be glorified and as a result I could pray for the leadership to grow in wisdom and discernment.  Because God's glory far outweighs my own personal sense of justice.

Grace is unmerited favour.  It's Jesus dying for us when we didn't deserve it.  It's being forgiven when we don't deserve it.

In a marriage, grace is what unites truth and love.  It is what keeps the truth from shattering spouses and the love from becoming shallow.  It is what makes repentance and forgiveness possible.  Grace helps you realize that you don't deserve to be forgiven, that you have screwed up, and thus helps you to extend forgiveness as you realize that others are just like you.

I am not the only one in need of grace.  We all are.

Today it seems like God is telling me to extend grace, to give up on my longing for justice because I feel the leadership of the church "deserves" it, and to recognize that they, like me, are screw-ups who need to be forgiven.

This doesn't mean I act like everything is okay.

But it means I let it go.

And this is hard because there is a lot of pain tied up in this.  Not just because of things the church has said and done to my family, but because of friendships that were lost as a result of it.

But I need to let it go.

Over Christmas friends from the church stopped by my parents' house with gifts of baking and a Christmas card.  I have been eating the soup mix from it all week and have been loving it!  Through them God has reminded me that despite lost relationships and hurt feelings not everything has been destroyed. 

But if I want these friendships to flourish I need to do my part.

I need to extend grace.

I need to let it go.

Such is the life of a Christian single.

3 comments:

  1. Beautiful. I'm proud of you! :)

    P.S. You are hot.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks, guys, I really appreciate the support. And thanks, Elizabeth, I think you're pretty hot too;)

    ReplyDelete