For the record I haven't actually received the much-deserved Starbucks that I put in my title. But I will be getting it in a little over an hour and believe me... it has been hard-earned. Why, you may ask? Allow me to tell.
As of today I finished the final essay of my Bachelor's degree. And by finished it, I mean edited it, put together my Works Cited page, and will never read it over again.
Words cannot begin to describe the relief that I am feeling. I woke up this morning feeling sick to my stomach. Part of this had to do with a horrible sleep. I'm not sure what has happened this semester to make me such a light sleeper, but I woke up a couple of times and each time I woke up had trouble falling back asleep. I would lie in bed for a good half-hour or so with my mind racing. I almost got up at 4:30 for good. Of course, at the same time I was sleepless I was also dealing with some disconcerting dreams that were intermingled with good dreams. The disconcerting ones just gradually became more and more creepy as my night progressed, almost like a replay of the same dream but each time it became more intense. By the time my alarm went off at six my heart was racing and didn't really calm down until I climbed on the bus over an hour later.
Add to that the fact that I had set aside today for editing this final paper, the roughest and least favourite of all my papers, and I barely held down my breakfast.
But none of that matters anymore. Because the paper is done. And in just over an hour I will be running to Starbucks with a friend :)
Despite the stress and the unsettling dreams I cannot begin to describe to you the peace that I have felt through it all today. Do you ever have those moments where it just seems like you are more aware of God's presence? Like when I finished my paper I could have sworn I my heart heard a "Well done. I knew you could do it." I have consistently felt as if His hand has been in mine today, as if He has repeated to me over and over, "I haven't forgotten you. I see you. I love you. I've got your hand."
I serve a good God. Sometimes I question His goodness. Sometimes I could swear that He is mocking me, that He doesn't care, that He is standing in the distance watching me nonchalantly, unconcerned with me. But despite everything He has brought me through this schoolyear. I don't know what next year is going to hold for me with schooling, but I know that no matter what it brings He isn't going to abandon me. And yes, should next year find me lamenting my lot in life I give you all permission to remind me of this posting :)
I am amazed at what God has done. At who He is. At the ways He has proved over and over again that He does not change. That He desires a relationship with me. That He cares about the details. And more than anything I want to glorify Him. He deserves so much more than I can, and do, give Him. Today has been a reminder of that.
Today has also been a day of rejoicing. Which means I am totally going to break out some incredibly awesome dance moves. You know the kind--they're the ones where people nod their heads in understanding and say, "So THAT'S why you're still single!" :)
Such is the life of a Christian single.
As of today I finished the final essay of my Bachelor's degree. And by finished it, I mean edited it, put together my Works Cited page, and will never read it over again.
Words cannot begin to describe the relief that I am feeling. I woke up this morning feeling sick to my stomach. Part of this had to do with a horrible sleep. I'm not sure what has happened this semester to make me such a light sleeper, but I woke up a couple of times and each time I woke up had trouble falling back asleep. I would lie in bed for a good half-hour or so with my mind racing. I almost got up at 4:30 for good. Of course, at the same time I was sleepless I was also dealing with some disconcerting dreams that were intermingled with good dreams. The disconcerting ones just gradually became more and more creepy as my night progressed, almost like a replay of the same dream but each time it became more intense. By the time my alarm went off at six my heart was racing and didn't really calm down until I climbed on the bus over an hour later.
Add to that the fact that I had set aside today for editing this final paper, the roughest and least favourite of all my papers, and I barely held down my breakfast.
But none of that matters anymore. Because the paper is done. And in just over an hour I will be running to Starbucks with a friend :)
Despite the stress and the unsettling dreams I cannot begin to describe to you the peace that I have felt through it all today. Do you ever have those moments where it just seems like you are more aware of God's presence? Like when I finished my paper I could have sworn I my heart heard a "Well done. I knew you could do it." I have consistently felt as if His hand has been in mine today, as if He has repeated to me over and over, "I haven't forgotten you. I see you. I love you. I've got your hand."
I serve a good God. Sometimes I question His goodness. Sometimes I could swear that He is mocking me, that He doesn't care, that He is standing in the distance watching me nonchalantly, unconcerned with me. But despite everything He has brought me through this schoolyear. I don't know what next year is going to hold for me with schooling, but I know that no matter what it brings He isn't going to abandon me. And yes, should next year find me lamenting my lot in life I give you all permission to remind me of this posting :)
I am amazed at what God has done. At who He is. At the ways He has proved over and over again that He does not change. That He desires a relationship with me. That He cares about the details. And more than anything I want to glorify Him. He deserves so much more than I can, and do, give Him. Today has been a reminder of that.
Today has also been a day of rejoicing. Which means I am totally going to break out some incredibly awesome dance moves. You know the kind--they're the ones where people nod their heads in understanding and say, "So THAT'S why you're still single!" :)
Such is the life of a Christian single.
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