My sister is a nursing student who has clinical twice a week at the hospital. All this semester we have been talking about how we will probably get sick at some point from everything she will be exposed to. Well, it has happened. We're pretty sure she brought a flu bug home.
The result? My face has received a makeover. My skin is an exceptionally pale hue, and I don't even think you can call what are under my eyes bags. Pretty sure I have two or three sets of bags under them that no amount of sleep has been able to dispel. My eyes are also slightly bloodshot and have that squinty look that they can get after two days of a headache. Perhaps not the best makeover I have ever received, but I suppose that is life.
On the upside I am feeling better today. I woke up this morning and had to get out of the house so I went for a lovely forty-two minute walk (yes, I counted). The result is that I am not very cold and a little shaky but at least I got out of the house. And my nausea is no where near as bad as it was on Monday and Tuesday, which only makes me hope that by tomorrow I will be 100% better (trying to be optimistic, can you tell?).
I am doing better after my emotional break down Sunday night/Monday morning. With getting sick I haven't had much of chance to feel anything else, but my head does feel clearer today. I still struggle (having to spend the whole day on the couch yesterday because everytime I got up the room would start spinning and I would feel like I would have to run and vomit--classy, I know--really didn't help the self-image) but I am also doing better. I really struggled with writing what I was feeling on here. I felt like I was some kind of a wimp by giving in to my insecurities. But if there is one thing that really bothers me it is people, especially Christians, who try to act like they are always doing great, like nothing is ever wrong. I didn't want to give any of you that image of me. If I am writing about my journey through this time of my life, it doesn't seem fair to only write the good parts. That seems false. So like it or not, I'm trying to give you all the "real me."
I read about God parting the Red Sea for the Israelites after He brought them out of Egypt. And I noticed some interesting things about it. As soon as the Israelites saw that the Egyptians were chasing them they started to complain to Moses, asking why he brought them out of Egypt and wouldn't leave them there. They weren't complaining against God. At the end of chapter 14 it mentions how after God had parted the Red Sea and delivered them from the Egyptians THEN the Israelites believed in Him.
Even after the ten plagues and their deliverance they still weren't ready to believe that God was their LORD, that He loved them, desired them, and wanted a relationship with them. I wanted to shake them. Could they not see everything God had done for them?
But then I had to stop. When I am hurting, angry, or in pain do I always see and acknowledge how God has shown His love to me?
The more I read about God and the Israelites, the more I see myself like an Israelite. I see a God who pursues His people, loves His people, and saves His people, and a people that is so wrapped up in its suffering and pain that they can't see it. They felt abandoned in their time of need and because of that have a hard time accepting God's love.
Sounds a little too close to me for comfort.
Such is the life of a Christian single.
The result? My face has received a makeover. My skin is an exceptionally pale hue, and I don't even think you can call what are under my eyes bags. Pretty sure I have two or three sets of bags under them that no amount of sleep has been able to dispel. My eyes are also slightly bloodshot and have that squinty look that they can get after two days of a headache. Perhaps not the best makeover I have ever received, but I suppose that is life.
On the upside I am feeling better today. I woke up this morning and had to get out of the house so I went for a lovely forty-two minute walk (yes, I counted). The result is that I am not very cold and a little shaky but at least I got out of the house. And my nausea is no where near as bad as it was on Monday and Tuesday, which only makes me hope that by tomorrow I will be 100% better (trying to be optimistic, can you tell?).
I am doing better after my emotional break down Sunday night/Monday morning. With getting sick I haven't had much of chance to feel anything else, but my head does feel clearer today. I still struggle (having to spend the whole day on the couch yesterday because everytime I got up the room would start spinning and I would feel like I would have to run and vomit--classy, I know--really didn't help the self-image) but I am also doing better. I really struggled with writing what I was feeling on here. I felt like I was some kind of a wimp by giving in to my insecurities. But if there is one thing that really bothers me it is people, especially Christians, who try to act like they are always doing great, like nothing is ever wrong. I didn't want to give any of you that image of me. If I am writing about my journey through this time of my life, it doesn't seem fair to only write the good parts. That seems false. So like it or not, I'm trying to give you all the "real me."
I read about God parting the Red Sea for the Israelites after He brought them out of Egypt. And I noticed some interesting things about it. As soon as the Israelites saw that the Egyptians were chasing them they started to complain to Moses, asking why he brought them out of Egypt and wouldn't leave them there. They weren't complaining against God. At the end of chapter 14 it mentions how after God had parted the Red Sea and delivered them from the Egyptians THEN the Israelites believed in Him.
Even after the ten plagues and their deliverance they still weren't ready to believe that God was their LORD, that He loved them, desired them, and wanted a relationship with them. I wanted to shake them. Could they not see everything God had done for them?
But then I had to stop. When I am hurting, angry, or in pain do I always see and acknowledge how God has shown His love to me?
The more I read about God and the Israelites, the more I see myself like an Israelite. I see a God who pursues His people, loves His people, and saves His people, and a people that is so wrapped up in its suffering and pain that they can't see it. They felt abandoned in their time of need and because of that have a hard time accepting God's love.
Sounds a little too close to me for comfort.
Such is the life of a Christian single.
Ohhhh I hope you feel better girly!!! Being sick is no fun. Except that hopefully you don't have to go in to work and instead can sit in front of the tv watching movies and eating soup. :))
ReplyDeleteI am feeling MUCH better today now! I even made it to the gym and had a really good workout. But I did spend oodles of time on the couch over the last few days. Skipped some classes, ate a lot of toast, and watched a lot of movies and television... even more than usual!!!
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