Thursday 9 February 2012

Annal 122: Tale from the Most Amazing Oldest Sister of all Time

Alright, so I have already been up at the university for the last three hours and there are another four and a half hours until my class actually begins... and then five hours after that four hours until I can get home.  Why did I do this to myself?  Oh right!  It is because I am the kindest of older sisters who decided to wake up at 5:30 this morning to drive my sister to her clinical.  And then I came home and instead of going back to bed I thought to myself, "Hey, you have been a blob all week because of the flu.  Today you feel better.  Let's go to the gym!"

How's that for motivation, eh?

So I did.  I made it up to the gym just after seven, worked out for an hour, and have been working on my "The Great God Pan" presentation ever since.  Definitely a productive morning.  And all because I am a wonderful sister (and humble as well).

In case you can't tell, I am feeling ten times better today than even yesterda.  I can tell I am not 100%, but the fog that has permeated my mind for the last few days, making it nigh impossible to think, has finally dissipated and I feel a bit like my old self.

This can probably also be partially attributed to the sunshine that is lighting up the room I am currently working in.  This makes me happy.

It also makes me want to wear my flip-flops.


This makes my feet happy, which in turn also makes me happy.

A friend shared a quotation from C.S. Lewis with me the other day.  Lewis said "You can't think straight unless you are cool. But then neither can you think deep if you are. I suppose one must try every problem in both states."  I have been thinking a bit about how that applies to what I have been feeling over the last two weeks or so.  Sunday I was about as far from 'cool' as one could possibly get.  But that allowed me to think deep about what was bothering me, about what I was feeling and struggling with.  Today I am recovered from my emotional breakdown and my flu and able to think straight.  I can look back and acknowledge the pain I was feeling, but now I can also see the ways that God is still pursuing and wooing me.  Stepping out of the gym into the most brillian sunshine was like God saying "Good morning, love!  I'm thinking about you!" 

I can't ignore the revelation I had Sunday night--I can't ignore that I still suffer from insecurities, that there are still hurts that I have to deal with.  I needed that breakdown (as much as I don't want to acknowledge that because it makes me feel like a failure).  And today I needed sunshine.  I needed the calmness that the light brought so that I could think of how to deal with all that was revealed.

I guess God is just faithful that way.  He has never abandoned me but has instead stood by my side throughout all of this, loving me no differently.  That's an encouraging thought.

Such is the life of a Christian single.

2 comments:

  1. Pretty sure you drove me to clinical so you could have the car...

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  2. This is true, but it makes me sound like a much better person if I say I did it out of the goodness of my heart and not because I didn't want to take the bus up for my meeting :P

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