I have a confession to make.
I took my youngest sister and oldest nephew to the mall on Wednesday. And I made a purchase.
I bought Michael Buble's new Christmas cd.
And I have been listening to it whenever I am driving alone, as well as right now while I am typing this. You see, I have this thing for crooners. There is a reason why I love to listen to Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra. There is just something about their voices that seems to stop my heart.
So my heart has been doing a lot of stopping in the last two days.
I have mentioned this before, but I love Christmas. I find it the most romantic time of year, which means it stirs up strange feelings for me. So forgive me for discussing Christmas 58 sleeps before it occurs, but please just deal with the fact that I am a fanatic about this holiday.
I am excited at the prospect of going home. Of going home to a decorated house, to snow, to family and friends. But like I said above, I also find Christmas romantic. Which means despite being surrounded by friends and family who I love, it is the one time when I feel loneliest. I sit here listening to Michael sing "All I Want for Christmas is You" and I can almost feel my heart break a little. Which is probably a good indicator that I should stop listening to it. Instead I am a glutton for punishment as I hit the repeat button.
Because obviously, as a single woman, I need to hear Michael singing that he doesn't need snow or presents, but just wants the woman he loves to be standing at his door. Because I obviously need to remind myself that there is no one out there thinking that about me. Because I apparently need to remind myself that I am single, and not by choice.
Please don't think I am upset or anything, because I am actually not. I am simply pondering the emotions that are being stirred up as I listen to Christmas songs. One day I will have someone to walk with on cold December nights while looking at Christmas lights. One day I will have someone to help me decorate my tree. One day I will have someone to cuddle with while watching snow fall. For now I don't, but I am hoping that that just means I will appreciate it all the more when I finally do have that someone.
Of course, I am broken out of this thoughtful reverie as my oldest nephew starts humming along to "Feliz Navidad." Which means a smile breaks out across my face. Because I really do have so much to be thankful for.
And so until the time that God decides to end my singleness, I shall continue dancing around my kitchen to "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" while my five year old nephew averts his eyes, and I shall continue driving around in October while listening to Christmas carols, and I shall continue to hope.
Such is the life of a Christian single.
I took my youngest sister and oldest nephew to the mall on Wednesday. And I made a purchase.
I bought Michael Buble's new Christmas cd.
And I have been listening to it whenever I am driving alone, as well as right now while I am typing this. You see, I have this thing for crooners. There is a reason why I love to listen to Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra. There is just something about their voices that seems to stop my heart.
So my heart has been doing a lot of stopping in the last two days.
I have mentioned this before, but I love Christmas. I find it the most romantic time of year, which means it stirs up strange feelings for me. So forgive me for discussing Christmas 58 sleeps before it occurs, but please just deal with the fact that I am a fanatic about this holiday.
I am excited at the prospect of going home. Of going home to a decorated house, to snow, to family and friends. But like I said above, I also find Christmas romantic. Which means despite being surrounded by friends and family who I love, it is the one time when I feel loneliest. I sit here listening to Michael sing "All I Want for Christmas is You" and I can almost feel my heart break a little. Which is probably a good indicator that I should stop listening to it. Instead I am a glutton for punishment as I hit the repeat button.
Because obviously, as a single woman, I need to hear Michael singing that he doesn't need snow or presents, but just wants the woman he loves to be standing at his door. Because I obviously need to remind myself that there is no one out there thinking that about me. Because I apparently need to remind myself that I am single, and not by choice.
Please don't think I am upset or anything, because I am actually not. I am simply pondering the emotions that are being stirred up as I listen to Christmas songs. One day I will have someone to walk with on cold December nights while looking at Christmas lights. One day I will have someone to help me decorate my tree. One day I will have someone to cuddle with while watching snow fall. For now I don't, but I am hoping that that just means I will appreciate it all the more when I finally do have that someone.
Of course, I am broken out of this thoughtful reverie as my oldest nephew starts humming along to "Feliz Navidad." Which means a smile breaks out across my face. Because I really do have so much to be thankful for.
And so until the time that God decides to end my singleness, I shall continue dancing around my kitchen to "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" while my five year old nephew averts his eyes, and I shall continue driving around in October while listening to Christmas carols, and I shall continue to hope.
Such is the life of a Christian single.
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