I had a wee bit of a smack on the head today in church this morning. I sometimes get so caught up in myself and my 'plight' as a single Christian women in a small town where the Christian male population is either non-existent, non-eligible, or non-interested, that I tend to forget that there are people out there going through much rougher times. I have some friends who are going through a heart-breaking time right now. My mother lost her job unjustly. And here's me thinking how rough my life is because I'm not married like the rest of my friends.
All of the songs we sang today were about the faithfulness of God. About how He is more than enough for us. About how His love gives us hope, faith, peace, and rest.
I thought of my friends and how they are clinging to God right now, and how even though they hurt so much they are still trusting Him. He has promised to never leave us (Hebrews 13:5) and I'm watching as their pain causes them to hold onto Him even harder.
I look at how God is bringing healing to my mother and teaching me about what forgiveness means through her ordeal.
And then I looked at myself.
I was standing there, singing "You're always enough for me" and God stopped me. It was like He was asking me if I believed this. Did I really believe that He was more than enough for me? If so many people close to me are dealing with issues that are so much greater than my life as a single, and they are able to cling to God and to trust Him to get them through these circumstances, then shouldn't I be able to do the same? Shouldn't I be able to place my trust in God and believe that He is enough?
For now I am single. And that's okay. I think of Mordecai telling Esther that perhaps she was placed where she was "for such a time as this" (Esther 4:14) and I can't help but think God has me here, in this position, for such a time as this. Should I waste it away longing to be married? Or should I seek Him and His purpose for my life, and trust that He will be enough?
Such is the life of a Christian single.
All of the songs we sang today were about the faithfulness of God. About how He is more than enough for us. About how His love gives us hope, faith, peace, and rest.
I thought of my friends and how they are clinging to God right now, and how even though they hurt so much they are still trusting Him. He has promised to never leave us (Hebrews 13:5) and I'm watching as their pain causes them to hold onto Him even harder.
I look at how God is bringing healing to my mother and teaching me about what forgiveness means through her ordeal.
And then I looked at myself.
I was standing there, singing "You're always enough for me" and God stopped me. It was like He was asking me if I believed this. Did I really believe that He was more than enough for me? If so many people close to me are dealing with issues that are so much greater than my life as a single, and they are able to cling to God and to trust Him to get them through these circumstances, then shouldn't I be able to do the same? Shouldn't I be able to place my trust in God and believe that He is enough?
For now I am single. And that's okay. I think of Mordecai telling Esther that perhaps she was placed where she was "for such a time as this" (Esther 4:14) and I can't help but think God has me here, in this position, for such a time as this. Should I waste it away longing to be married? Or should I seek Him and His purpose for my life, and trust that He will be enough?
Such is the life of a Christian single.
Hey Jess I just wanted to remind you of the words of Paul the apostle in 1 Corinthians 7. Paul wanted to encourage us to live a single life so that we could give all our feelings, all our emotions and all our heart to Christ. Paul was one of the greatest apostles ever to live because he gave every moment to God and could do anything at anytime according to Gods will. Christ has an amazing plan for you and your future so while you are single give every bit of yourself and your time to Christ. Your an amazing women and a beautiful creation of Gods so follow in Pauls foot steps for the time being until Christ begins a new journey in your life. Verse 8 and verses 32-35 are pretty specific to this situation so even if you don't like the way I put it please read these verses and let Christ bring them alive to you in your own way!!
ReplyDeleteGod bless you and your beautiful future!!
Love you Jess, and I love your writing. This reminds me so much of a journal I wrote when I was single. Although I'm pretty sure that mine was oh, 100 times more angsty.
ReplyDeleteI sit here myself and think of people going through much harder things than I am. We walk a fine line of allowing ourselves to feel and realizing that we're not the only ones in the world hurting.
I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm blessed by your words and the fact that your heart is open to God's gentle correcting. At the same time, I want to encourage you not to trivialize your struggles and the difficult stretch of road you are walking on.
Pain is pain. Hardship hurts, no matter what package it presents itself in. Your feelings deserve to be validated. So, don't be too hard on yourself.
But also live in the confidence that our sufferings produce perseverance, which produces character, and character produces hope. And our hope does not disappoint. Thank God, eh? :)