Annal 15: Tales from the Proposals

I received my first proposal when I was ten.  It was a lovely spring evening and I was walking with one of my best friends.  A boy we sometimes walked with appeared from out of the bushes with a beautiful wild rose in his hand.  Our conversation when something like this:

“Will you marry me?”

“No.”

“F*** you.”

And then he walked away.

My next proposal was in grade nine.  It was “Capture the Heart Day” where all the girls had paper hearts and weren’t allowed to talk to the boys.  If they talked to a boy, he got to have their heart for the day.  By the time I left homeroom one of my classmates had proposed.

Come to think of it, I didn’t actually turn him down.  Of course, I didn’t accept either.  I remained quite silent.

Looking back, I wonder if perhaps I was too picky.  Did I already, at such young ages, expect too much?  Sure  the first boy was a year younger than me and couldn’t say three words without throwing a curse word into it, but I’m sure other than that he would have been wonderful husband material.  And he did pick me a flower.

The other guy was a really nice guy.  I didn’t know much about where he stood with Jesus, but he was still very nice and we got along wonderfully.  Why did I not accept?

Right.  I was fourteen.  Pish posh, people were married with children by that age not all that long ago.

I have not received another proposal since.  Perhaps this is simply a sign that I really am just too dang picky.  I really must work on it.  And so I think I shall have to accept my next proposal... in Pride and Prejudice Elizabeth Bennett comments that despite having turned down the odious Mr. Collins, if she is lucky, she many in time meet with another man just like him.  Is she being sarcastic?  Sure, but I’m positive there is a lesson to be learned.  And so here’s to Mr. Collins!

Such is the life of a Christian single.