I am probably the closest you will ever come to meeting a vampire.
There, I admitted it.
No, I don't drink blood. I'm not a huge garlic fan, but it definitely doesn't hurt me. I quite like crosses, and while I have never come into contact with holy water, I'm pretty sure I won't sizzle when splashed by it. No one has ever tried to stab me with a wooden stake, though I'm sure that it would kill me were it driven through my heart. But the sun... well... that's another story.
As I write this I'm fighting the urge to scratch my ears. You see about three years ago I developed a mild sun allergy. It doesn't last all summer, just for May and June, while my skin adjusts to the sun's heat again. My skin bubbles. I believe the correct term would be "breaking out in hives" but bubbling skin sounds a little more Dracula-esque, don't you think? And so I am currently exercising all my self-control to not scratch those glorious little bumps that have appeared on my ear lobes.
See, when most people think vampires, especially in today's culture, they think glamorous and sexy. They think Edward Cullen glittering in the sun, or Kate Beckinsale in black leather. The closest I can come to that is red, bumpy skin that itches.
Attractive, isn't it?
Every once in a while I like to envision myself gloriously shaking my hair loose in the summer sun, skin glowing with a golden hue. Instead I look in the mirror and see red skin... that bubbles.
My only hope? That Hugh Jackman as Van Helsing will catch wind of this "North American Vampire" and come hunt me down.
Such is the life of a Christian single.
There, I admitted it.
No, I don't drink blood. I'm not a huge garlic fan, but it definitely doesn't hurt me. I quite like crosses, and while I have never come into contact with holy water, I'm pretty sure I won't sizzle when splashed by it. No one has ever tried to stab me with a wooden stake, though I'm sure that it would kill me were it driven through my heart. But the sun... well... that's another story.
As I write this I'm fighting the urge to scratch my ears. You see about three years ago I developed a mild sun allergy. It doesn't last all summer, just for May and June, while my skin adjusts to the sun's heat again. My skin bubbles. I believe the correct term would be "breaking out in hives" but bubbling skin sounds a little more Dracula-esque, don't you think? And so I am currently exercising all my self-control to not scratch those glorious little bumps that have appeared on my ear lobes.
See, when most people think vampires, especially in today's culture, they think glamorous and sexy. They think Edward Cullen glittering in the sun, or Kate Beckinsale in black leather. The closest I can come to that is red, bumpy skin that itches.
Attractive, isn't it?
Every once in a while I like to envision myself gloriously shaking my hair loose in the summer sun, skin glowing with a golden hue. Instead I look in the mirror and see red skin... that bubbles.
My only hope? That Hugh Jackman as Van Helsing will catch wind of this "North American Vampire" and come hunt me down.
Such is the life of a Christian single.
Oh then perhaps that invite to come out to Australia this summer won't be a good idea then - lol.
ReplyDeleteSorry to read that your skin bubbles and itches but on the upside you won't have to worry about skin cancer and the like. And the ethereal, mysterious look is very appealing.
Just ask that strange looking dude from Twilight ;)
xMiss365