I once read a book where a group of singles actually plotted out when the services of every church in their community (and the surrounding communities) started, and would manage to attend up to three services a day. I would love to say they did this because they simply could not get enough of learning about God. But they didn't. They did it so they could rate each church according to its population of singles.
At the time, this made me laugh and shake my head. Now I actually begin to comtemplate it.
I know people in surrounding communities who constantly suggest that I and my single friend come and check out their churches. Of course, by "checking out their churches" what they really mean is "come check out the singles at our church--we'd love to hook you up." After reading this novel as a teenager, my first thought was actually how much fun that would be. But then I had a realization.
Just because someone goes to church does not mean that they are what I am looking for. I had that realization this fall. I had changed churches because I felt that God was calling me in another direction. Ironically enough, as soon as I left the church they had an influx of single men start attending. My first thought was "Should I go back?" but I realized I couldn't. Just because a man is single and goes to church does not mean that he is the man I am looking for. Call me picky, but I prefer to say I'm not desperate. When it comes to faith, I want a man who is willing to think deeply and not just accept what is said from the pulpit because it is said from the pulpit. I want a man who is discerning. My father constantly tells me that I'm better off being single and waiting for the right guy, than rushing into a relationship simply because I don't want to be single. I suppose I'm beginning to agree with him.
Will I stop visiting other churches? No. Heck, I may even enjoy going to them, trying them out, and yes, seeing if they have an single men. But will I jump into anything simply because that guy goes to a church? No.
Such is the life of a Christian single.
At the time, this made me laugh and shake my head. Now I actually begin to comtemplate it.
I know people in surrounding communities who constantly suggest that I and my single friend come and check out their churches. Of course, by "checking out their churches" what they really mean is "come check out the singles at our church--we'd love to hook you up." After reading this novel as a teenager, my first thought was actually how much fun that would be. But then I had a realization.
Just because someone goes to church does not mean that they are what I am looking for. I had that realization this fall. I had changed churches because I felt that God was calling me in another direction. Ironically enough, as soon as I left the church they had an influx of single men start attending. My first thought was "Should I go back?" but I realized I couldn't. Just because a man is single and goes to church does not mean that he is the man I am looking for. Call me picky, but I prefer to say I'm not desperate. When it comes to faith, I want a man who is willing to think deeply and not just accept what is said from the pulpit because it is said from the pulpit. I want a man who is discerning. My father constantly tells me that I'm better off being single and waiting for the right guy, than rushing into a relationship simply because I don't want to be single. I suppose I'm beginning to agree with him.
Will I stop visiting other churches? No. Heck, I may even enjoy going to them, trying them out, and yes, seeing if they have an single men. But will I jump into anything simply because that guy goes to a church? No.
Such is the life of a Christian single.
I love this post! Seriously, your dad is so right (even though it must not feel like it at times.) I am looking forward to sitting in the audience on your wedding day and seeing the "man, I'm so glad I waited for this!" look on your face. :)
ReplyDeleteJess, I am with Elizabeth. I found God will lead me and there is growth in that. BUT, you are very correct in that single men in church may not be the ones you are looking for. You are beautiful and talented and I know God has the best man picked out for you. Hang in there, he is going to be delivered to you and your relationship will be right and it will be awesome. I am praying for you.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth, I look forward to the day you can be at my wedding seeing me with that look on my face as well! Thanks for the encouragement, guys!
ReplyDeleteFirst, I am looking forward to writing your "this is how I met my husband" testimony on my blog ;)
ReplyDeleteSecondly, in my experience I have never actually met anyone who Church hopped specifically to meet singles and actually meet "the one". God works in more interesting ways then that. But then I think it's more about it not happening that way because it's "us" trying to make it happen rather than God just doing His thing in His timing.
But frustrating when you look around your church and see no single men of a marriageable age ( who are also cute & sane! ) ;)